Too dangerous
by ccannde
Summary: Even though Remus had rejected her, her own feeling towards him were still there, as strong as always.


She knocked on the door four times. Suddenly, it opened. The creaking sound it made indicated how old the wood was.

"Excuse me, Professor. May I talk to you for a minute?" she mumbled as she tucked a strand of mousy brown hair behind her ear.

Albus Dumbledore was at his desk writing a letter. He gave off an aura of serenity and composure that clashed curiously with her expression of concern.

"Miss Tonks, please come in and take a seat," he murmured with a friendly smile. He placed the quill on the table. "I know why you are here."

What he said disconcerted her, though she had been feeling a bit intimidated since she stepped into the castle.

She didn't know what to say, so she just walked into the office and sat on a comfortable chair in front the enormous, claw-footed desk.

The walls were covered with portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames.

The old man offered some lemon drops. She declined with a shake of her head and a shy 'thanks'.

For the last couple of days, she had been internally debating whether or not to go talk to him. Last night she made her decision.

She had even practiced a speech in front of the mirror, but now, when the moment came, she couldn't remember any of it.

She didn't know where to start, so she was grateful when the wizard decided to break the silence.

"I always used to wonder why the sorting hat did not put you into Gryffindor," he commented, his soul piercing blue eyes gazing at her through his half-moon spectacles. "However, the many years of having you as a student, and later as a member of the Order of the Phoenix have made me realize that you are a terrific example of a Hufflepuff… You are loyal and with an incredible lack of prejudice. The sorting hat made the perfect choice once again."

The wizard glanced over at the big bookshelf where the hat stirred slightly. He smiled lopsidedly.

"As I said a few moments ago, I knew you were eventually going to come to my office." he said twiddling his thumbs.

Nymphadora fought her curiosity and avoided looking at his long and skillful fingers; she had already noticed a couple of weeks ago that they were blackened and dead-looking.

"Although, I would like you to tell me the reason of your visit instead of making my own conclusions"

He gave her a reassuring smile, which Tonks returned weakly.

She swallowed and stared at the curious silver instruments which stood on spindle-legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke, as if they could tell her the words to say.

"I came to ask you to change Remus Lupin's mission, Professor. With all due respect, I think it's reckless. He's a very important member for the Order; we can't afford to lose him."

_I can't afford to lose him,_ she thought to herself.

She could feel her heart beating faster, and the headmaster's poker face only made her more impatient.

"He would never complain, but I know he feels miserable. Being surrounded by all those werewolves is torture for him" she said after a short pause "Remus is not like them, he would never hurt someone on purpose… he's not a monster."

She took a deep breath and crossed her legs. Slowly, a rosy scarlet color spread over her cheeks, giving her an almost childlike appearance.

Even though Remus had rejected her, her own feeling towards him were still there, as strong as always.

The thought of him being depressed hurt more than her own depression.

If he couldn't love her, he should at least let her protect him.

"And please, he can't know I'm saying this…" she mumbled frowning slightly.

She didn't know how he would react if he found out. Maybe he would be mad at her. Anyway he had been avoiding her for a long time, so she wouldn't be able to see his response.

Or perhaps she would just look like one of those pathetic girls who stalk the blokes they fancy.  
Either way, it would be worth it as long as he was safe.

The only man she ever truly loved didn't love her. She wanted to protect him, but he probably didn't need her.

Tonks was well aware that they would never be together again. The idea constantly put a lump in her throat, just like the one that formed after Sirius' death.

"The parallels in human connections are very amusing." His eyes twinkled with kindness and mischief. "For example, just this morning, I was pleased to speak to Remus Lupin himself and he asked me to change your missions because he considers them to be too perilous."


End file.
